The one who I wished was a boy

You know you're not a lesbian when you think a girl is really hot, but wish is a man.

So I gave it a try several times: dating girls. I would be a good lesbian! I'm much less intimidated by women, I can charm them, get their number and be sweet. Around guys I say stupid things or nothing at all figuring they're all a bunch of wankers anyway.

Angela was this gorgeous German lesbian. I met her when my band was playing at a pizza joint. She was this totally hot gal, messy short hair, good skin, meat on her bones and had this deep voice. The German accent made her even hotter and gayer. I don't know why, but it did. I love accents I guess.

We met eyes from across the room, but I didn't know if actually happened or if it was just a random eye contact thing that happens with strangers. I'm sure this happens all the time with people, but I'm oblivious because I don't trust it. But somehow we started talking and we exchanged emails claiming she wanted to hear the band again. My band really sucked, so I assumed she was trying to pick me up!

She was really into Native American religion, once a week she would go to a sweat lodge and she even started doing vision quests. Angela also went to pow-wows whenever there was one around. She worked with patients who where healing from brain injuries and studying to be an art therapist. This girl was interesting and cool. But she was also one of those self-righteous people that told me that drinking Diet Coke is really bad for me. Thanks, I know!

Anyway, other than meeting for coffee (and a Diet Coke) briefly, my only date with Angela was a party at her artistic friend's house. She showed up looking all cute with her hair in a faux hawk, a striped polo shirt, corduroy pants and converse sneakers. I was thinking, "man, she looks awesome, but I wish she was a guy!"

After the party, which was super fun by the way, we made out a little. When I had my hands around her back, I hated that she was wearing a bra! And it wasn't because I wanted her to take it off. It was like, "oh yeah, I'm making out with a girl! damn."

Afterwards, she tried to get me to go out with her again, but I was really busy with grad school. She told me that "I believe everything happens for a reason. if you want to hang out with me you will." And I'm thinking, "cool, I don't need to explain shit to this one!"

I think that was my last attempt at dating women. I'm not saying I won't try again, I'm just saying that maybe I'm not into butch lesbians so much. Maybe I should try girls that dress like girls.